Groomsmen Responsibilities

April 19th, 2010 in The Groomsmen Guide by About Grooms

Congrats! You’re a Groomsman!

Groomsmen are in the best position to meet all the great looking girls and party down at all of the wedding festivities. They look really hot all gussied up in tuxes. They have been singled out by the groom as special friends, which is quite an honor. Groomsmen are automatically on all pre-wedding party lists, so they don’t have to miss a single fun festive thing. As part of the groom’s trusted retinue, they will go to the bachelor party with special status. Life as a groomsman can be quite good, even extraordinary. It’s hard to object to a stint in life of full of wine, women and song!

But groomsmen also have real responsibilities and roles to play in the wedding. And these roles involve an investment of time and money. If someone asks you to be a groomsman at his wedding, it’s advisable to stop and consider what is involved before you make a commitment or impulsively shout, “Hell, yeah, man! I’m in!” This is because once you step up to the line and agree to be a groomsman, you create expectations and people will be depending on you to show up without fail at certain times, to follow a groomsman’s code of behavior and to execute traditional groomsman duties. And if you decide later to back out, for any reason other one involving personal death and dismemberment, you will create disappointment, resentment and ill-will that will take a long time to heal. You don’t want that to happen!
Costs. You will be expected t to pay for your own tuxedo rental, travel expenses to and from the place of the wedding andyour hotel room, You will also have to chip in on the cost of the bachelor party (room rental, refreshments, food, entertainment). And then there’s the matter of a wedding gift for the bride and groom. You may have to take off from work without pay, if you have to travel to the wedding location, so lost wages might have to be factored into your expenses too.

If these costs are going to be burdensome or you face the possibility of running out of funds in the middle of things, the best thing for you to do is thank the groom for wanting to include you, but gracefully decline his invitation. He and the bride will be much more understanding at this stage of affairs than they would be if you try to back out later.

Other Duties and Responsibilities. We don’t want to make this sound heavy or deadly dull, but going into the tour of duty as a groomsman with your eyes wide open will prevent misunderstandings and unpleasant surprises.

Before the Wedding

Get your tuxedo ordered and fitted
Do whatever you can to lend a hand to the groom and best man with their multiple and more complicated (than yours) duties
Consult with and advise the best man on the details and arrangements for the bachelor party
Put together a few preliminary notes for a wedding speech and toast (think sweet, funny, witty)

Do your part in preparing for and cleaning up after the bachelor party, rehearsal dinner andthe wedding
Pick up your tuxedo in plenty of time and make sure you have all of the right accessories
With a winning smile and cheery, charming disposition, attend the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner
Be unrelentingly helpful and supportive to everyone in the wedding party, particularly the groom

Wedding Day

Get ready way ahead of time, look your best, and show up early at all appointed places
Warmly greet guests and courteously guide guests to their seats at the ceremony
Respectfully escort the mother of the groom to her seat
Respectfully escort the mother of the bride to her seat
Escort your assigned bridesmaid down the aisle in the entry procession (“Here comes the bride …”)
Participate in the photography sessions before, during and after the wedding ceremony
In the company of the wedding party, take your seatat the head table during the reception (watch your manners!)
Chat and dance with all the pretty girls and bridesmaids at the weddingreception
Ask the bride and mother of the bride if there is anything they need help with at the end of the reception , offer to help clean up and transport the gifts
Don’t forget to take your tuxedo back to the rental shop the next day! They charge extra if you’re late!

Now that’s not hard, is it? Not if you’re organized, have a good memory and like people. Certainly not as hard as walking over hot coals or taking a final exam in nuclear physics. Actually, it’s a big laugh riot and a months’ long party. Just follow through and do what’s expected of you and you will be everyone’s hero!