Groomsmen are in the best position to meet all the great looking girls and party down at all of the wedding festivities.  They look really hot all gussied up in tuxes. They have been singled out by the groom as special friends, which is quite an honor.  Groomsmen are automatically on all pre-wedding party lists, so they don’t have to miss a single fun festive thing. As part of the groom’s trusted retinue, they will go to the bachelor party with special status. Life as a groomsman can be quite good, even extraordinary.  It’s hard to object to a stint in life of full of wine, women and song!

But groomsmen also have real responsibilities and roles to play in the wedding.  And these roles involve an investment of time and money.  If someone asks you to be a groomsman at his wedding, it’s advisable to stop and consider what is involved before you make a commitment or impulsively shout, “Hell, yeah, man! I’m in!”  This is because once you step up to the line and agree to be a groomsman, you create expectations and people will be depending on you to show up without fail at certain times, to follow a groomsman’s code of behavior and to execute traditional groomsman duties.   And if you decide later to back out, for any reason other one involving personal death and dismemberment, you will create disappointment, resentment and ill-will that will take a long time to heal.  You don’t want that to happen!
Costs. You will be expected t to pay for your own tuxedo rental, travel expenses to and from the place of the wedding andyour hotel room, You will also have to chip in on  the cost of  the bachelor party (room rental, refreshments, food, entertainment).  And then there’s the matter of a wedding gift for the bride and groom.  You may have to take off from work without pay, if you have to travel to the wedding location, so lost wages might have to be factored into your expenses too.

If these costs are going to be burdensome or you face the possibility of running out of funds in the middle of things, the best thing for you to do is thank the groom for wanting to include you, but gracefully decline his invitation.  He and the bride will be much more understanding at this stage of affairs than  they would be if you try to back out later.

Other Duties and Responsibilities. We don’t want to make this sound heavy or deadly dull, but going into the tour of duty as a groomsman with your eyes wide open will prevent misunderstandings and unpleasant surprises.

Before the Wedding

• Get your tuxedo ordered and fitted
• Do whatever you can to lend a hand to the   groom and best man with their multiple and more complicated (than yours) duties
• Consult with and advise the best man on the details and arrangements for the   bachelor party
• Put together a few preliminary notes for  a wedding speech and toast (think sweet, funny, witty)

• Do your part in preparing for and cleaning up after   the bachelor party, rehearsal dinner andthe wedding
• Pick up your tuxedo in plenty of time and make sure you have all of the right  accessories
• With a winning smile and cheery, charming disposition,  attend the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner
• Be unrelentingly helpful and supportive to everyone in the wedding party, particularly the groom

Wedding Day

• Get ready way ahead of time, look your best, and show up early at all appointed places
• Warmly greet guests and courteously guide guests to their seats  at the ceremony
• Respectfully escort the mother of the groom to her seat
• Respectfully escort the mother of the bride to her seat
• Escort your assigned  bridesmaid down the aisle in the entry procession (“Here comes the bride …”)
• Participate in  the photography sessions before, during and after the wedding ceremony
• In the company of the wedding party, take your seatat the head table during the reception (watch your manners!)
• Chat and dance with all the pretty girls and bridesmaids at the weddingreception
• Ask the bride and mother of the bride if there is anything they need help with at the end of the reception , offer to help clean up and transport   the gifts
• Don’t forget to take your tuxedo back to the rental shop the next day!  They charge extra if you’re late!

Now that’s not hard, is it?  Not if you’re organized, have a good memory and like people.  Certainly not as hard as walking over hot coals or taking a final exam in nuclear physics.  Actually, it’s a big laugh riot and a months’ long party.  Just follow through and do what’s expected of you and you will be everyone’s hero!

Everyone, the bridal party and guests included, looks forward to the wedding reception as the high point of the whole wedding extravanganza.  And what’s not to like, eh?  Great food, terrific “refreshments,” jokes, backslaps, pranks and just good times spent with friends!

Well, the fact is, a wedding reception is not a chaotic free-for-all where everyone is allowed to go crazy and let it all hang out.  Wedding receptions have traditions and protocols that define the stages and phases of the celebration and their upshot is to keep a lid on “too much ‘unbridled’ enthusiasm” and to keep the focus on the event that brought everyone there in the first place:  two people have been joined in the holy bans of matrimony.  The customs and traditions of wedding receptions are not hard and fast and allow for lots of flexibility and innovation, but they should be observed to some degree, nevertheless.

The Receiving Line

Traditionally the bridal party, including both sets of parents and the bridesmaids and groomsmen, and the maid of honor and best man stand in a receiving line to make sure every guest is personally welcomed and given the chance to speak directly each member of the wedding party to offer “best wishes and congratulations.”  Many contemporary (as in you) brides and grooms, think this is a bore, that it slows things down, and is a particular drag on letting the guests come in and start their feasting and revelry. Au Contraire, mon cher!

The key to overcoming this bottle-neck (in your mind) situation is to let the guests arrive at the reception before the wedding party and have servers insist on them getting drinks and plates of food while they wait for your arrival.  This actually makes use of the ordinary flow of events at wedding reception, because the wedding party is typically delayed at the church (or wherever the wedding ceremony took place) by the photographer who wants to set up all kinds of compulsory groupings and shots.  So the idea is to arrive at the reception after your guests have had at least one drink and have started to unwind.

Then form the reception line and let people go through it as they want to, while also greeting late arrivals at the door.  While all of this is going on, have servers offer glasses of champagne etc. to people in the line so they’re not at a refreshments-disadvantage to the other revellers.  This is easily done and your crowd of guests will quickly get clued in about what is expected of them and how to go through the glad-handing at their own prescribed pace.

The order of people in the reception line has two main variants:  Father of the bride, Mother of the bride, groom and bride, parents of the groom and then bridesmaids, led by the maid of honor and followed by the groomsmen led by the best man.  The other way it’s done effectively is to have the bride and groom at the head of the line, followed by both sets of parents, with the rest of the wedding party bringing up the rear, as outlined above.

Wedding Presents Brought to the Reception

Invariably some people come to the reception bearing gifts and you need to establish a place where they can be stashed, otherwise they can get lost or even—gasp—stolen.  There are two ways to do this, depending on your personal taste.  One is to have appointed a table or coffee table in full view on which guests can leave their gifts.  This can be very pretty and contribute to the overall atmosphere or décor.  The other way is to have someone designated as the “gift runner” who will accept the gift and then place it in a room or closet out of sight from the celebration for safe keeping.  But whatever you do, have a plan for this because otherwise gifts will get lost if they are stashed helter-skelter in different places and you can be sure some of your guests will be very unforgiving when they don’t receive the obligatory thank you note from you because you didn’t even know they gave you a gift.  Ouch!  Very bad!

Dressing and Changing Room

Before the reception, and actually well in advance, you should have established a private room or rooms for changing out of your wedding attire and into your “going away” ensemble.  Ideally, this room or rooms act as a “retreat” for members of the wedding party to use when they need to pull away from the crowd of guests for one reason or another.  If at all possible, this room should have adjacent to it bathroom facilities separate and private from the ladies’ and gents’ lounges that the guests will use.  The reasons for these rooms are manifold, but to name just a few:  parents need to discuss something in private, a bridesmaid has clothing crisis of one kind or another, the groomsmen need a place to plot their pranks for your ultimate leavetaking, your great aunt breaks out in hives and feels faint from all of the excitement.  Never forget that a reception is “staged” and your goal is to accept all the good wishes your friends and relatives are offering, while at the same time protecting them from the embarrassing details of the private lives of the members of the wedding party.

Cutting the Cake

The ritual of the bride and groom conjointly cutting the cake takes place once it’s clear that most guests have arrived.  Remember, no one can eat this delectible several stories high confection until it has been ceremoniously cut by the bride and groom.  For some guests, the cake is always the paramount “treat” of the reception, so don’t delay doing this.  Some brides and grooms simply cannot resist highjinks while cutting and tasting the cake (e.i., shoving a piece down the other’s throat, etc.), but if you’re going to engage in such, be gentle and always in the spirit of good fun.  This is not the time to “get even” with your bride for some infraction she committed just before the wedding.  If you do you will quickly lose your “prince charming hero’s status” among the guests!

Throwing the Bouquet and Throwing the Garter

These are time-honored wedding reception traditions and everyone will be expecting them.  Some would be severely disappointed if you omitted them. The catchers of these items, theoretically at least, are supposed to be the next woman and man to get married among the assembled group (though not necessarily to each other!).

These little rituals take place shortly before the bride and groom go to don their get away clothes, and usually the bouquet fling to the bridesmaids and other female guests takes place first.  Some brides choose to do a backwards “over the shoulder” toss to eliminate any possible charges of favoritism for both tosses.  Don’t be surprised if you have a hard time rounding up guys to catch the garter!  No man wants to appear eager to get married.  Men are genetically wired to want to appear hard to get.

The Get Away

Once the bride and groom have changed, they traditionally walk to the door and are doused with rice, or butterflies or graffitti (anything goes here provided it’s not toxic).

While the bride and groom are changing into their street togs, the groomsmen are customarily putting the finishing touches on the get away vehicle.  Groomsmen, a word of warning here:  don’t go overboard or you’ll be sorry.  Champagne incites marvelous flights of imagination and lowers mental hurdles, but you don’t want to do permament damage to the car or anyone’s psyche, particularly the bride’s!  Use a light hand and a gentle touch and all will be well.

Clean-Up Detail

Once the bride and groom are off and gone, there’s usually a mess to tidy up.  It’s not compulsory, but you could earn big points with the parents on both sides, if you offered to help—even just a little bit.  It was one hell of a party, wasn’t it?  And they probably paid for it.  Show a little repect and courtesy and consider it bread upon the water.  They’ll then be inclined to give you a really cool wedding gift when your big day rolls around!

Hangovers, unfortunately, are frequently a consequence of pre- and post-wedding celebrations. If you just try to ride them out, you will waste precious time that could be spent in more pleasurable activities, such as more drinking and partying! The old saying that “hair of the dog” will quickly cure you is the worst possible advice you could follow, however. If you go this route in hopes of dissipating the painful green blur of a hangover, you will only compound your problems and feel worse in the long run. What follows are tried and true home remedies for hangovers that really work. If you find yourself suffering from a hangover, do yourself a favor and go through this checklist and in a few hours you’ll be back in healthy, virgorous partying form!   

Drink a Glass or Two of Fruit Juice

Fruit juice naturally contains fructose and will help rid your body of alcohol. Orange, tomato and grapefruit are great choices, but anything with fructose in it will work like a charm. Also fruit juice tastes great and is loaded with Vitamin C, a nice boost for your immune system!

Have Some Eggs for Breakfast

Eggs contain a natural protein called albumin, which has an osmotic effect that rehydrates your cells after the dehydrating damage to them of alcohol. Chow down on them any way you want, fried, scrambled, poached– You will feel better soon, guaranteed.

Chomp Down on Some Crackers with Honey on Them

Like fruit juice, honey contains fructose (proven alcohol remedy), but in a highly concentrated amount. Stuff yourself with crackers slathered with honey, if you want to—the more you eat, the better you will feel!

Get Some Willow Bark Pills from the Drug Store and Take Some

Get a Beef or Chicken Bullion Cube, Dissolve It in a Cup of Hot Water and Drink It

Your party libations have depleted your body of   potassium and salt, which is one reason you feel so crappy. Replace these vital minerals and feel better fast with a cup of bullion. It works like magic!

If You Are Feeling Seriously Ill, Get Some Niacin at the Drug Store

Niacin is a well-known, very effective detoxifying agent. And alcohol is a toxin! Gotta get rid of it! Niacin is safe and easy to use, but it will make you feel flushed and itchy while it’s working, because it dilates blood vessels, increases circulation and has a histamine effect, so be prepared for the side effects. But if you’re really, really sick from a hangover, nothing is as effective or fast acting. Your choice.

Drink a Lot of Water before the Party, Before Going to Bed and When You Wake Up

Alcohol in all of its marvy forms is a major dehydrator and one of the chief reasons a hangover makes you feel so awful is because you body on the cellular level—yes! Is dying of thirst! Save it!  Save yourself!  Drink loads of water!  Gatorade will help some, particularly with potassium and sodium replacement, but you still have to flood your cells with water. So do it and feel better!

Take an Alka Seltzer Before You Go to Bed and When You Get Up

‘Nuff said. But this doesn’t work so well if you forget to take it before you go to bed.

Take Shots of B Complex Vitamins Immediately on Waking

It would be a good idea, actually, to lay in a supply before the parties even start. These shots work wonders, especially when combined with the other remedies mentioned here.

Take an Amino Acid Supplement or Eat a High Protein Meal

Drinking ravages your body of amino acids, which you need to feel good and be healthy. You’ve got to replace them (along with everything else alcohol has robbed your body of!). You can get these while you’re shopping for all the other supplements mentioned above. You will find amino acid supplements in the vitamin and supplements section of a drugstore too.

Drink Some Coffee

Have a couple of cups of coffee, but don’t drink a whole pot. The caffeine is a vasoconstrictor that will shrink the dilated blood vessels caused by the alcohol that are causing your headache. But watch it because you don’t want to add a case of coffee jitters to your other hangover symptoms!

That’s it! Follow these steps and you’re ready to party again!

Something about a wedding turns everyone into a flirt.  All those girls in pretty dresses, the wafts of perfume, the looks, the eyelashes fluttering, eyes flashing.  What’s a red-blooded guy supposed to do?  It’s a highly charged erotic atmosphere for both genders.  Not that anyone is looking for a wife or husband—forget that!  It’s all about a good time and everyone is poised and primed for hot encounters.

So how do you connect with a great looking chick at a wedding?  It’s not hard if you’re clued into a few unspoken rules chicks live by.  First, don’t come on too strong—stick your tongue back in your mouth and quit grinning and drooling.  Nothing turns a chick off faster than the obvious desire for a roll in the hay.  Subtlety and descretion are essential.  So is that absolute prerequisite, “cool.”  Without blatantly staring at her, take a little time to watch the girl you’re lusting after, observe her behavior, even watch her shoot some other dudes down.  You’ll learn a lot about what doesn’t work, moves you don’t want to repeat.  Also drill down to her basic personality.  You’re not going to learn much about her character from a distance, but you can determine if she’s the light-hearted, humorous type or the sultry, pouty sexy type, or something in between.  Develop a feel for it, use your intuition. When you’ve drawn a bead on “what she’s ‘like,’” sidle up to her.

Be confident that she will appreciate the attention provided it’s polite, witty and not pushy.  You could offer to get her a drink, bring her a glass of champagne, comment on how gorgeous she looks in that dress, or tell her a joke—nothing obscene, though.  It’s not wise to go up to her and ask her to dance right off the bat.  Women don’t like dancing with perfect strangers, no matter how dudely you are.  They like to have a feel for who they will be doing the boogie with first.  Actually, it’s easy to strike up a conversation with a lady at a wedding reception because you’ve both been drawn to the occasion by a mutual friendship with the bride or groom or both.  You both presumably were at the wedding ceremony, a shared experience, so you could make some ice breaker remarks about that, say something about what a great couple the bride and groom make, but be careful not to criticize any of the wedding participants—she could easily be related to the person you’re dissing (ouch!).  Keep an eye on her body language.  Bad signs: she crosses her arms over her chest, she sighs and looks away, she looks past you while you’re talking to her.  Good signs:  She smiles (duh), giggles, laughs . . . you know what they are.

Unless you’re the reckless type with a sense of random adventure, avoid the babes in way too tight dresses and necklines that run down to their navels.  Also the chicks who obviously have had too much to drink. They are walking powder kegs that could  blow up in your face.

Once your chosen prey has smiled at you a couple of times or laughed at a couple of your jokes, ask her to dance.  The hard part is now over and you can begin to have fun. Who knows what will happen or how and when it will end—or if it will turn into something more than a simple flirtation?  And who cares?  Rock on.

And planning the honeymoon is half of the fun!  Unless the two of you happen to be ardent and pre-determined to go to a specific destination, honeymoon planning affords you dream time to entertain a whole world of possibilities and you should fully indulge yourself, for at no other time in your lives will the world so be “your oyster” as when you are newly married.  That’s because everyone loves lovers, especially the newly married kind.

So…where do you want to go?  What do you want to see?  What do you want to do?  These are the major questions couples ask themselves at the outset of planning a honeymoon.

Perhaps you’re like many couples and don’t have a clue.  Maybe you just have this warm and fuzzy feeling you want to create as a result of going on your honeymoon.  Whatever the case, the internet and thousands of websites stand ready to indulge your curiosity and dreams.  You could literally spend months wandering through them getting ideas and most of them will be appealing because there’s no shortage of marketing smoke and mirrors on each trying to lure you into one travel package or another.  If you really want minutiae about places to consider, use Google Earth to investigate at street level possible places for your post-nuptial rest and recreation.

Of course there’s the little matter of the budget you’ll need to respect, but consider this: maybe it’s a good idea to start your research as if money were no consideration at all and you could go anywhere your hearts desire.  That will at least allow you to focus in on what is truly appealing to you.  Once you’ve firmly identified a place and an experience that creates the spark in both of you, you can always then look for places that will give you that special something which fall within your budget.

One of the neat unanticipated results of planning a honeymoon is what you learn about yourself that you didn’t know before and, of course, what you learn about this person now called your “spouse.”  It’s actually like an inkblot test that is revealing to everyone who participates.  When, for instance, you consider Hawaii (perennially the number one choice of newlyweds for honeymoons), what do you see?  How does it make you feel?  Do you feel drawn there by a semi-magical force?  Or perhaps repelled by another force?  For a minority Hawaii could mean erupting volcanoes and molten lava!

Whatever you do, don’t railroad an idea over your new spouse and don’t let him or her railroad an idea over you.  One of you may say that you really don’t care where you go, or you maybe want to please your spouse by agreeing to go somewhere he or she is personally passionate about and to engage in an activity he or she loves.  Big mistake.  Whoever was the passive partner on the planning end will soon find themselves full of steely resentment and annoyance two or three days into a honeymoon venue that is disagreeable to them (even if it does launch the other party into a state of unmitigated bliss).

An perfect, real life example of the Honeymoon from Hell comes to mind.  A new bride happily agreed to go on a skiing honeymoon with her new husband because he is just nuts about skiing and snow.  She grew up in Florida and loves sunny warm climates.  Skiing to her is something you do behind a boat in nice smooth warm water!  The first night of their honeymoon in frigid February in Park Place, Utah, she was awakened by howitzers booming off in the mountains to prevent avalanches.  She was terrified and thought they were under attack.  The trip went, pardon the pun, downhill rapidly after that.  She was freezing cold the whole time, couldn’t feel her fingers or toes, her new husband put her on slopes way too advanced for her (because she is “so athletic!” he exclaimed), evoking within her primal mortal fear, and there was nothing to do all day but ski …ski, ski!  You get the picture.  The trip was cut short when she broke her ankle jumping out of a ski lift—at her husband’s direction—and they had to go home.  Bad scene, for sure.

The point is so clear it hardly needs stating.  Honeymoons, like marriages, require honesty and compromise.  But they can be one hell of a lot of fun if you have those ingredients while you’re planning, and it goes without saying, the planning can be a good exercise for all of the joint decisions you’ll have to make as a married couple.

If you’re smart and lucky, your honeymoon will be so spectacular, you will want to stay married long enough to go on a “second” one!

Wait!  You’re not finished just yet.  The next thing you must do at the florist’s is order the boutonnieres for your best man and groomsmen. These are spiffy bright little flowers and are sometimes called “bachelors buttons” (not to be confused with the real flower called a “batchelors button,” which is something else altogether—forget we even mentioned it!). Again you want the advice of your bride, because the boutonnieres must coordinate and harmonize with everyone else’s flowers and ensembles.  Yes, life is complicated, isn’t it, for a groom?

The boutonnieres are worn in a lapel, usually the left one, at the wedding.  Keep them in a cool—but not cold–dry place until about 30 minutes before the ceremony and then give them to the best man to hand out for all the guys to put on.  That way they’ll be crisp and fresh for the big moment (and no one will have dropped theirs and stepped on it.).  Just make sure all the groomsmen have them securely fastened to their lapels at the same level—and on the same lapel. This is typically accomplished with a long pin and someone always sticks it in a finger and draws blood, which doesn’t look too great on the front of a formal shirt.  So warn everyone to be careful! Both corsages and boutonnieres are best attached by someone else, preferably of steady hands and good eyesight, standing in front of the person who will wear it.  This is another tip to give your groomsmen, who probably aren’t accustomed to having other men attach flowers to their breasts.  Tell them to get over it.  You’re getting married in a few minutes and don’t have time to fool around!

All of this flower stuff will quickly relieve you of a couple of hundred bucks—easily much, much more, so stick it your budget somewhere, and don’t forget to order the corsages and boutonnieres!

While you may have been under the impression that the floral arrangements for the wedding were the bride’s responsibility, with the help of Mother and Dady’s checkbook, the groom actually has need of a florist too if he wants to honor a few very significant and traditional groom obligations.

Corsages

The last time you thought of corsages probably was when you were preparing for that major life event, your Senior Prom. You may not have been aware of it at the time, but proms are an initiating rite for men to the importance of flowers in a woman’s life! All important facets and phases of a woman’s life, you learned, must be celebrated or recognized with flowers!  Who’da’ thunk it?  No doubt you were a bit confused at the time and—even worse—shocked at the price tag these little bundles of flowers had attached to them.  The florist probably helped you through the mysteries of corsages by making a few suggestions and asking a few pertinent questions, such as “What color is your prom date’s dress?” and “Does she like roses?”  Since that time, if you stop to reflect on it for a minute, you’ve sent your girl flowers a few more times, maybe on her birthday, maybe to say you were sorry for something, maybe to recognize one of her achievements in academics or sports, and maybe just to say “I love you.”

Wedding Corsages

It may be news to you, but as the groom you are responsible for sending appropriate corsages to the following members of the wedding party:

• The Mother of the Bride
• Your own Mother
• The Maid of Honor
• The Bridesmaids

In order to do this properly you need to do some consultation with your bride to find out what she wants in terms of flowers, colors and designs and what colors of dresses, ensembles, etc. the ladies will be wearing at the wedding.  Equipped with this information you then must visit a good florist and place your orders.  It’s  much better to go physically, in person, than to try to accomplish this over the phone, or worse, the internet.  And, just to be safe, you may want to take your bride-to-be with you just to make sure you don’t make any mistakes.  Visiting the florist in person will allow you to see photos and samples of the welter of choices in the corsage category and, once you have made your selections, know exactly what to expect when they are delivered.  The visit also aids in developing a rapport with the florist, something good to have so he or she does their best work for your big day.  Each one of these little floral creations, remember, is hand-made with real life flowers; these are not something a computer spits out as exact replicas of a design or photo.  The idea is you want the florist to really like you so you get stupendously gorgeous and fragrant corsages that will delight all the ladies!

“Whoa!” You’re probably saying right now.  “Now I’ve got to give these guys ‘gifts?’  I’m practically out of money with all the other matrimonial money-sucking obligations I’m already trying to cover!”  Well, slow down, kick back and listen up.  These aren’t big gifts, but little mementos that are customarily given to the groomsmen for being the stand-up guys for you at the most important event of your life.  It’s not like you have to give them all sets of golf clubs or season tickets to the Lakers!  Think something small, silver (silver plate will do, engraved)—and fairly inexpensive.  The point is in the act of giving and the memory the little token inspires, not in the cash it requires! It’s a tradition and a ritual.  And ideally you’re only supposed to be going through this wedding ordeal only once in your life, so step up to the plate (silver, that is—or sterling if you want to go first class!).

Great groomsmen gifts that are given by the millions every year include:

• Engraved cufflinks
• Engraved shot glasses
• Frames for your wedding invitation (rather self-serving and not as popular as the above)
• Engraved key chains
• Engraved flasks
• Small engraved jewelry boxes
• Small engraved paper weights
• Small engraved desktop clocks for the office
• Engraved tie tacs
• Engraved business card holders

Some guys ignore the silver tradition completely and go for clothing and sports attire, but again monogrammed either with the wedding date or the groomsmen’s initials. Some possibilities here are:

• Monogrammed jackets
• Monogrammed ties
• Monogrammed sports towels
• Mongrammed ball caps

And so on.  You know best what your guys will like and appreciate.

The presentation of these little tokens to the groomsmen takes place wherever you feel it is appropriate or significant.  Some of your presentation options are: at the batchelors’ party, before the rehearsal dinner, just before the wedding ceremony or at the reception.  It’s up to you.  The point is that the gift is a little symbol of your appreciation for their help and support as you’ve inched your way on your hands and knees across the hot coals of wedding obligations toward marital bliss.

Trust that they will hold onto these goodies, will keep them in a safe place—maybe even a prominent place in their home or office, and if you’re still good buds later in life, they will pull them out sometime with fond recollection of the good times had, both at your wedding and for the duration of your long friendship.  Hey, little things like this matter and are important, so give the selection of the gifts some solid reflection and choose wisely.  You’ll see it’s truly a guy thing, after all, and you’ll feel good giving your best pals something to remember the date by!

Wedding etiquette dictates that each gift you receive will extract a handwritten thank you note from you or your bride or both of you together.  For some reason thank you notes are seen as a necessary evil and the actual writing of them is often postponed to what can only be called psychotic procrastination.  This is silly, because 1) thank you notes only have to be a few sentences long and 2) the recipients really don’t expect you to remember or list every fine aspect or detail of the gift, sort of as a compulsory recitation of qualities, proving your gratitude.

The easiest and best way to do thank you notes is to write them as the gifts come in and try to keep up with them daily.  That way you don’t face the daunting task of writing 50 or hundreds of thank you notes all at once, a burden that only fosters further procrastination, sometimes up to the point that the bride and groom have essentially committed etiquette suicide because they never get done.  A word to the wise:  people expect thank you notes and if they don’t get one, they will be miffed—and maybe even offended.

Simple white or ivory fold-over notes are customary for thank you notes.  Lift up the fold and write the note and date it on the inside. Be sure to mail them—with a stamp!  Easy as that, just don’t get behind and all will be well.  Your guests will feel appreciated and you have done the right thing and can consider yourself thoughtful, dutiful and civilized. Good boy!

While the very existence of this phenomenon may be news to you, the wedding registry is your ticket to receive lots of great stuff at the best price ever: free! It is also your chance to instantly outfit your new home, kitchen and dining room table with household essentials of a higher quality than you and your bride may be able to afford yourselves.

A wedding registry is in the simplest terms a place where bride and groom register or list items they would like to receive as wedding gifts.  Guests go to the wedding registry to choose a gift for the two of you which they can be confident you will appreciate.  In the yesteryear of the dim and hazy past, wedding registries were often confined to gift stores and department stores and a guest had to trundle off in person to the store to poke around and select a gift for you.  Today, to everyone’s appreciation, they are 99% online.  Target, K-Mart, Crate & Barrell, Macy’s, Neiman’s, you name it, all have online wedding registries and your guests can point, click, pay and send the gift with just a few movements of the mouse in a matter of minutes.

The way you make these dreamy selections is a breeze too.  You and your bride wander around the store and scan the bar codes of the items you want into a scanner, and presto! You’ve got your wish list!  This process has the potential of resulting in the biggest load of impressive goodies you will ever receive in your life.  Choose wisely and don’t go overboard.  Sure, maybe you’d like that $5,000 sterling and ivory bar set, but choosing it and adding it to your registry for all of the wedding guests to see may not be the smartest thing you ever did in your life. Your choices will telegraph messages about you and your values to the people most important to you, and this is something you should keep in mind. Try to be thoughtful and somewhat practical and resist the temptation to impulsively go overboard at the sight of all those fine items that make you drool, as in, say, the $40,000 billiard table at Neiman’s or the Limoges bone china at Tiffany’s that costs $3,000 a place setting. Unless your last name is Rockefeller or Vanderbilt, such choices would not only be in bad taste, but also create the impression you’ve lost your mind.

Once the wedding invitations go out, the gifts will start to arrive, so it won’t be long before lots of these goodies start showing up at your bride’s place or her parents’ home with your names (yes, yours!) on them.  Life as a groom is good! Enjoy!